Sunday, April 14, 2002


the rag doll to the heedless child by david harsent
i love you
with all my linen heart.

you cannot
know how these


rigid, lumpy arms
shudder in your grasp,


or what
tears dam up against


these blue eye-smudges at
your caprciousness.


at night i watch you sleep;
you'll never know


how i thrust my face
into the stream


of your warm breath;
and how


love-words choke me behind
this sewn-up mouth.

Thursday, April 18, 2002


suffocated,
by a knotting anxiety
stuck in my throat.

it won't come out,
no matter how i stick
my hand in to dig
it out.


it has suctioned itself,
on th side cavity of my throat.
frantic dig,
only lunch is excavated..


that knotting anxiety is still
there.


sick,
is th vomit
and th taste in my mouth.

posted by schadenfreude at 8:47 PM

Wednesday, May 01, 2002


elegy to a visageless phatom lover

in the dead of the night,
you assailed my mind...
you crept into my bed of thoughts,
gingerly pulled away my covers,
and coaxed me into making room for you
in my small cot.

i obliged, rational weakened
by the potent nectar of hypnos..
oblivious to my annoyance of sudden rousal,
you snuggled up, and i
held your warmth,
so that my lips were barely
touching your naked back;
one leg draped across your sleek body,
fingers traced your poreless skin,
breath settled on your flawless neck,
i cuddled close as i would my faceless bolster.

i laid with you -

were
still -

in the cradle of
gossamer-webs that morpheus spun -

sprung up and -

snapped -

and the vivid visage-less dream of a yesternight,
haunts me ever in daylight reverie.

posted by schadenfreude at 8:49 PM

blogostory.

manic depressive when i'm awake.
most of the time i'm slipping into the sleep of the living dead.
distant thunder trembles beneath me.
it's cold, dank, dark.
i smell the impending storm.
if i move, the clouds beneath me would break up and give way..
they say, only the dead don't move.
but the dead moved in my dreams.
am i dead in my own dream?
i'm so high up, no bird or soul can touch me now.
no shaft of light can break through
this primordial chaos that surrounds me now.
no speck of light shall be allowed..
to illuminate the loneliness for my eyes to see.
i'd lose my mind and thrash about..
and fall..
back starting where i ended it all.

and when you stick your tongue out to catch the rain..
would you savour my dissolving hope and feel my pain?